wow.

so i finally realize how truly lazy i can be about some things.
it all depends on if i want to really do it, as most people seem to work in the first place.

take this blog, for example. i kind of want to do it, but i kind of don't. [yes, i'm using "'"'s (say that 7 times fast) instead of "."'s now.] but yeah, i do and i don't. meaning, i want to do it, because if people read my blog, i feel somewhat special. it's nice to feel special, right? i mean, i get lonely. but then again, i really sometimes don't want to do it, because sometimes i just don't have the motivation, or i don't feel like typing,  (usually a motivation problem) or something of that nature.

but there's those certain things, like i should be getting dressed right now and getting ready for my day. but nope, i kinda don't feel up to it. so i'ma gonna wait about 10 more minutes, that way i can rush out the door, and feel a little bit more stressed throughout the day. i would rather write my pointless blog and be late. but then again, i wouldn't.

for those of you who aren't lucky enough to know me, i'm a very "mixed-emotion-kind-of-guy". not in the way to where the girl i like hates me, but in the way that i just always am doing something different. like this post. it started out with my laziness, now i'm here. i don't know exactly how to explain myself, except that sometimes, i don't know what to do, and sometimes i do. it's upsetting.

i just ramble on about things, and confuse my own self. i'm losing an interest in computers, and then again, i know that is what i'm best at. (at least as of now, in my opinion.)

i feel like i need to do something, then my mind tells me i don't, then it tells me to do it again, thus my conscience becoming a forkbomb, ready to explode and screw my day over in a sense.

it just gets me to the point of aggravation and distension, that i don't know what to do except watch pointless YouTube videos, such as Bed Intruder, or some other nonsense, or simply just go to bed.

well, i'm done with my rant. i'm sure there will be more to come, God willing.